May the Valar protect us
by Aerlalaith
Summary: Celebrian has gone on a visit to Lothlorien, leaving Elrond to watch the twins. May the Valar protect us.
1. May the Valar protect us

DISCLAIMER: If you recognize it, it doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Tolkien

A/N: Imagine the twins around the same ages as human three year olds.

May the Valar protect us

"NO, Elladan! Not the-" Elrond's tablecloth fell to the floor -- along with the dishes. Lord Elrond stared in disbelief at the picture of utter chaos his eldest offspring had managed to create. How DID Celebrian put up with them? He found himself envying his wife and her trip to Lothlorien as he tried to grab Elladan's hand.

Elladan of course, did not agree with this idea, and elected to bite his father. This of course resulted predictably. "Ai Elladan!." Elrond shrieked, and then dropped Elrohir on the floor.

Elrohir, like most elflings, did not appreciate being handled in such a way. After true fashion, he began to wail.

Elrond stood helplessly, watching his two children wail and cause destruction respectively. He felt a bit like crying himself. How DID Celebrian do it? Sighing, he bent to pick up Elrohir - when he felt something sharp poke him in the back. He turned to see Elladan playing with one of the dinner knives that had fallen to the floor along with various other items.

"No, Elladan, drop the knife."

"No." It was one of the few words he knew.

"Elladan....."

"NO!"

Elrond winced and covered his ears. Elrohir had still not stopped crying and Elladan was holding the knife menacingly.

Elrond sent a prayer to the valar (the fifth in the last three minutes) and attempted to use diplomatic reasoning on the stubborn child. Key word: Attempt.

"Elladan, you must drop the knife. It is a danger to me as well as a danger to you, your brother.." He wanted to add 'and the rest of Arda' but thought that would have been inappropriate under the circumstances. Besides, Elladan wasn't even listening to him.

Elladan was busy terrifying invisible orcs with his new sword. A weapon known to the general populace of Imladris as the butter knife. Elladan swung. Elrond jumped back. Elrohir had stopped crying and was watching the antics of his brother and father with wide open eyes.

Meanwhile, Glorfindel and Erestor watched from the doorway of the dining hall, shaking their heads at Elrond's hopeless inability to control his children.

"Do you think we should help him mellon nin?" Glorfindel asked Erestor as calmly as though they were both sitting in Erestor's study.

"Nay," Erestor replied. "This is a good learning experience for him. It's not fair that Celebrian should have to put up with them all the time."

"True." Glorfindel considered the scene for a moment, cocking his head thoughtfully. "However, if Elladan or Elrohir get their hands on anything flammable, then we will intervene."

"That sounds like a good plan." Erestor agreed. They both turned and continued to watch the Lord of Imladris trying to reason with his son.

"ELLADAN! Put the knife down! No, don't throw it across the.... Room." He finished with a sigh. The butter knife was now embedded in the door to the kitchen.

"He's got good aim." Glorfindel commented to Erestor. "I can't wait until he begins weapon training. He has the potential of a wonderful knife master."

Erestor chose not to reply to this and elected to watch said knife as it began to fall.....

CRASH! Elrond turned around. The knife had fallen from the kitchen door -- right onto the three hundred year old numenorian vase sitting on the table next to the door. Elrohir clapped with glee. Elladan examined the torches on the wall. Elrond wondered if using Vilya would have any serious repercussions.

Elrohir decided that Elladan had had enough attention and now it was his turn. He stood up on his toddler legs and ran under the table. Of course, the table did have three shattered plates under and around it, but that was hardly his problem.

Elrond disagreed. "ELROHIR! Get out immediately from under that table before you hurt yourself." He did not notice Elladan jumping up and down behind him, attempting to pull down the torch from the wall. Why? I do not know. Such is the mystery of an elfling's mind.

Elrond was lucky that day. Or perhaps it was because the valar were going to need Imladris in the future and couldn't afford to have it burned down by a pair of toddlers. Either way, Erestor and Glorfindel decided it was time to intervene.

"You grab Elladan, I'll get Elrohir." Glorfindel told the advisor who was still watching the family with amusement.

"Agreed." Erestor replied. This of course, was easier said then done.

Glorfindel snuck around to the back of the table. Elrohir didn't notice him. That is, he didn't notice him until Elrond said, "GLORFINDEL! Please, will you help me get my son out from under the table before he gets himself killed!" Then of course, Elrohir noticed him.

Elrohir turned around and growled at the seneschal. He was determined to defend his table to the death. Glorfindel resisted the urge to hit Elrond over the head for revealing his position and, swallowing his dignity, returned Elrohir's growl with one of his own.

Elrohir was taken back. Grown elves didn't growl! They yelled, like his Ada when they were angry (obviously he had never seen Erestor in the early hours of the morning).

Elrohir was so surprised that he failed to notice when Elrond crawled under the table to grab his leg. He did notice, however, when his father started to drag him out from under the table. Elrohir kicked out, but it was in vain. Elrond stood up, handed the struggling elfling to Glorfindel, and turned around to grab Elladan.

This was when he noticed his chief advisor. Erestor was standing with his back to Elrond, holding Elladan -- who was fast asleep, with his thumb in his mouth. Elrond's jaw dropped. How DID they manage to do it?

"Erestor..... How did-"

Erestor turned around and eyed his friend. "It's their naptime, Elrond. Every day before they fall asleep, they are briefly unmanageable."

"I... WHAT?"

"Surely you must have noticed this trend by now."

Elrond shook his head in the negative.

"Trust me on this mellon nin, Celebrian had me record their 'schedule' when she noticed this pattern. Apparently she and Galadriel did the same."

"But..."

"I'll take Elladan, and Glorfindel will take Elrohir. He won't fall asleep for a half hour or so."

"What about...."

"You, mellon nin can clean up the dining hall." Glorfindel told him, and followed Erestor out the door.

Elrond eyed the room, then noticed the vase. Celebrian was so going to kill him.

Back in Erestor's study, Glorfindel put the no longer protesting Elrohir in one of the chairs. Elrohir looked sleepily up at him. "Glorfindel?" He asked (Glorfindel had, after many attempts managed to teach the twins to say his full name. Erestor had not been so lucky)

"Yes, Elrohir?"

"Where do babies come from?"

_It was_, the balrog slayer decided, _going to be a long day_.

ELVISH TRANSLATIONS:

Mellon nin = my friend

Ada = Dad

A/N So, what did you think? Funny? Boring? Good? Bad? Stupid beyond belief? Let me know! I've fixed various errors in this fic twice now, and if you see any more, I would love to fix those as well.


	2. The next invader of Imladris

Disclaimer: I am neither dead, male, or have a last name that begins with 'T'. I own nothing.

A/N Ok... This was SUPPOSED to be a SINGLE chapter fic. HOWEVER, The fates (turns around and glares at Fate gambling on a table with his buddy Death ) As well as the evil plottbubies who keep me awake at odd hours (sends death glare to Plotbunny using the local plothole as a hula hoop) Have conspired to make me write another chapter. I wasn't going to, but now, I am (obviously). SO.... Read it and enjoy it or else next time I'll just hit the plotbunny over the head before it bothers me some more. Okay?

"I do no think that Sauron is as immediate of a threat that he was in the days of the last alliance." Erestor said, trying to ignore Glorfindel, who was rolling his eyes on Erestor's other side.

"Be that as it may, Advisor Erestor. I still believe that Sauron is still a major threat by his very -- if weakened -- continued existence on this middle earth. I also believe that we should continue to-"

There was a giggle. Lord Elrond paused and looked around his council room to see who was laughing. No one had moved. His gaze roamed around freely, settling on Glorfindel for a few seconds and then continued. "-To keep the-"

Someone giggled again. Elrond narrowed his eyes. It was coming from behind his chair. Wait... Behind? What the.... Elrond turned around and stared at the table behind him. He wondered which of his advisors had picked up the skill of ventriloquism and sent the table a death glare. It wobbled in response. The Lord of Imladris jerked back and stared at in incredulously. What in the name of Mandos was going on?

There was a third giggle and then a snort. Erestor paused in the act of taking a sip of wine to stare at the table that was now bumping up and down as if it contained a halfling or a very small dwarf.

Elrond slowly lifted up the tablecloth with his hand on his sword. Erestor was the first to catch sight of the one that lurked beneath and choked. Glorfindel pounded him on the back (a little to hard, he discovered, after Erestor dropped the glass). Lord Elrond just stared aghast at the intruder. "ELLADAN?"

Glorfindel stopped causing Erestor back pain, smirked and said, "The threat of Sauron may no longer be immediate but I believe we have succeeded in discovering the next probable invader of Imladris." He gestured toward the table, or rather, under it "See? He already has a battalion of soldiers at the ready."

Elladan, oblivious, continued to play with his inch tall wooden cavalry while Glorfindel became the receiver of a glare from Elrond. Erestor had stopped choking and was trying to glare on Elladan's behalf as well, but his still watering eyes and red face rather ruined the effect.

The chief advisor decided to give that up (he would get Glorfindel later) moved next to Lord Elrond, and concentrated instead on getting Elladan to leave the sanctuary of the table. "Come Elladan, your nurse will be wondering what has become of you."

"No Er'story"

_ Er'story? _Glorfindel mouthed at his friend.

Erestor wondered if Glorfindel was too far away to kick and experimentally swung his leg back.

"Ow!"

"Oops." Erestor said nonchalantly.

Elrond looked up in amusement as the rest of the council stared at the three elves in mystified confusion.

Just then, a knock came at the door. The twins' nurse came bustling in with Elrohir on one hip looking tired and angry with cream smeared all along his face. The Nurse looked tired and exasperated and said "I'm afraid your sons got it into their heads to wander off. I have since discovered Elrohir in the kitchens attempting to take a swim in a barrel of cream, but Elladan's location remains a mystery to me. Perhaps you have seen him."

Elrond was about to reply when Glorfindel motioned at the table and spoke. "Behold fair lady, we have indeed discovered a spy in the midst of our council chambers and were wondering how he came to be there. We thank you graciously for your assistance in helping us to discover the..." He slowly stopped when he realized that not only were Elrond, Erestor and The Nurse were staring at him as if he had gone insane, the rest of the council was as well. No, wait, they were staring above him. Why would they be... This was when Glorfindel discovered that there was a spider on his head.

"_AI_!" This was followed by a string of curses that for decency's sake have been censored. Glorfindel leaped into the air and clawed at his hair in attempts to get the offending arachnid off.

The Nurse put Elrohir down and moved to stop Glorfindel from banging into the table and making it fall down on Elladan in his haste to get the spider off. She calmly reached between the legs of the table and gathered the elfling in her arms before stepping back and flicking the spider of The balrog slayer's head. He stared at her in surprise. She patted his shoulder and turned around to pick up Elrohir.

Elrohir wasn't there. "Where has Elrohir gone off to?" Erestor asked, voicing everyone else's thoughts. That all became clear however, when the gigantic wall map came falling down on all of them.

In the resulting chaos, Elrohir and Elladan both managed to escape, The Nurse went off in pursuit, Elrond discovered graffiti carved in the wall where the map had been and Glorfindel was kicked twice more by Erestor.

The council was over rather quickly that day.

A/N All right, not as funny as it could have been. But this is the best I can do for the moment. Thank you all for the reviews. I took Uineniel's advice and gave Erestor a rather humiliating (I think) nickname. Er'story has a rather nice ring to it, don't you agree? I hope you enjoyed!


	3. An alcoholic encounter

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Tolkien; I'm only borrowing his characters (and making them cause havoc) before I give them back.

A/N: Thanks to Ellen, who helped me through my writer's block. She is the best beta ever and gave me most (possibly all) of the ideas for this chapter. You rock, mellon nin!

Elladan, eldest son of Lord Elrond of Imladris, was bored. Elrohir, the second son (by a few minutes) was also bored. Two bored elflings, was never (ever) a good thing.

Erestor, looked warily across the table and down a few chairs to where the twins sat. He sighed – he had known Elrond would make a stupid mistake like this. Who else would have a pair of elflings at the feasting table (for their first time) with guests?

Celebrían would have recognized the potential for disaster and stopped this ridicules idea before the soup had been served. As it was, the wine glasses had been refilled twice already and dessert was not long in coming.

Elladan, besides being bored, was also confused. He had seen men before, but what were these short stumpy hairy things that now sat at the table, and conversed with his Ada? To make it worse, Ada was speaking nonsense with a lot of extra 'k' sounds and a few 'z's. If that was a language, he was sure someone... Odd had devised it.

The fact that he was sitting at a table full of the strangest creatures he had seen in his short life totally escaped him.

"Elrohir..."

"Yes?"

"What do you suppose those things are?"

His brother looked the 'things' over with a critical eye (or at least, what he thought was a critical eye). At long last he said, "Perhaps they are Orcs?"

Elladan gave his twin a look that spoke volumes. "Elrohir, do you really think Ada would be entertaining orcs at his dining table?"

Elrohir frowned, "Well, if you insist on putting it that way..."

"I do."

"Then what do _you _think they are?"

"Perhaps they are a type of Man?"

"Men are tall."

"Not all the time."

"The ones that visit Ada are."

Their bickering continued in this manner before deciding that the best way to find out would be to ask.

"Glorfindel?"

"Not now, Elrohir."

But– "

"Go bother Erestor." The Elf had already consumed a few pints of wine and wasn't exactly feeling up to answering questions – especially since language seemed to be deserting him.

Elrohir looked helplessly at his brother and, since they were both elflings, decided to follow Glorfindel's 'advice'.

Problem: Erestor was too far away to talk to.

Solution: Go under the table.

Potential for disaster: Immense.

The two elflings simultaneously dropped down to the floor, and started to crawl down to where Erestor sat. They got to his chair and stood up, before realizing two very important things. One, that Erestor appeared to be asleep; and two, that one of their hairy short guests seemed to be sitting right next to him.

Elladan said a few words he had undoubtedly learned from either Glorfindel or one of the Galadhrim that liked to visit every once in a while before dropping back under the table and crawling away in the opposite direction.

The dwarf (for that was what he was) blinked in surprise, and helped himself to some more wine. However, in his drunkenness, he didn't have a very firm grip on the bottle. Whichever Vala was in charge of irony was working overtime that night, because not only did the poor dwarf drop his wine bottle, it rolled under the table. Straight at Elladan.

Elladan had never had wine before.

Neither had Elrohir.

The eldest son got picked up the bottle first, and stared at it. It seemed to be talking to him.'Drink me,' it said.

Who was he to disobey the commands of the wine bottle?

Elrohir glanced at his brother (who was now sampling the wine) and then looked at the wine bottle itself. He was rather startled when it started to speak to him. 'Drink me,' it said. Elrohir bit his lip. Ada had **never** let them drink wine (or any other type of alcohol) before.

That of course, decided him. "Elladan, let me have a sip."

"All right, brother, wait your turn."

"Share!"

"Fine! No need to get angry about it." Elladan passed the wine to his twin. Before long, the two were fairly drunk and beginning to feel a bit drowsy and strange. They stumbled out from under the table, and through the halls, trying to sing one of the ballads Lindir usually sang. They were doing it horribly.

"Gil-Galad was a – hic – ing, and he – hic – he…" Elladan paused. "What did he do, El'?"

"I forgot. Let's go ask the warriors. They'll know…"

This seemed to be a logical idea, and so, stumbling from more than just their normal clumsiness, they eventually made it to the barracks, and went inside. It was dark, and the soldiers were all sleeping. The two elflings crashed around the room, trying to find something -- anything-- to light so that they could wake the soldiers up.

"Look, El! A torch!"

"Light – hic – it!"

"With what?" Elladan slid to the floor, oblivious to the cold wood.

Elrohir followed his brother onto the ground of the barracks, and closed his eyes. "I'm tired, El'" he mumbled.

Elladan, who was already asleep, didn't even answer.

Back in the dining hall…

Lord Elrond was worried. Where were his sons? He was sure they had been sitting next to him a few hours ago... Rubbing his eyes tiredly – he really didn't need this – he bid his Dwarven guests good night and shook Glorfindel's shoulders, trying to wake his seneschal.

"Wha... Elrond?"

"Glorfindel, where are the twins?" he asked anxiously.

"I don't know. Why are you asking me?"

"You were sitting next to them." Elrond reminded him curtly.

"Ask Erestor..." Glorfindel buried his face in his hands, and went back to his wine-induced sleep.

"Glorfindel...."

The seneschal replied only with a loud snore.

Cursing in Westron, Sindarin, Khuzdul, and Quenya, Elrond tried his luck on Erestor. There he faired a little better. Erestor managed to stay awake for a whole minute before dropping back of to sleep. Elrond sighed. It appeared he was on his own this time.

Elrond stumbled around worriedly for about ten minutes, looking for his sons before the wine he had drunk that evening finally caught up with him. He collapsed on the floor of his own kitchen, next to the cupboards.

The next morning...

Erestor stumbled bleary-eyed to his feet. It was around five in the morning and the sun had yet to rise. He looked at Glorfindel, and considered carrying him to the barracks. Then he decided that the guards in the barracks were much more physically fit then he was, and they wouldn't have any problems carrying their commander to his bed (not that they would voice, anyway). He walked through the hallways, trying to decide if there was really a Dwarf with an axe inside his head, or if it was just his imagination.

Erestor entered the barracks, planning to only wake the captain and whoever else was unlucky enough to be seen first. Leaning over, he whispered into the captain's ear. "Captain, would you mind – WHAT IN ARDA ARE THEY DOING HERE?" Erestor was referring to the two elflings who were curled up on the floor, clutching a wine bottle and a torch between them.

The captain, who had just been rudely awoken, tried to make sense of all the yelling Lord Erestor was doing.

"ELFLINGS, Captain, do NOT belong in barracks! You have a responsibility to...."

'Elflings?' thought the poor captain. 'What in Arda is he talking about?'

Erestor continued with his lecturing of the poor confused Captain for a few more minutes, before grabbing both Elladan and Elrohir, putting them over his shoulder, and storming out.

The Elf was not sorry to see him leave. 'Now that's odd. He didn't come in with elflings. Did he?'

Glorfindel was not having a good morning. An angry Erestor, who had yelled all sorts of nonsense about letting elflings get their hands on wine, had awaked him from his drunken sleep. 'I'm not that irresponsible... Am I?'Then, he had received a Lecture from Lord Elrond (who was having bad day himself, having woken up in the kitchens). About watching his children, not letting them wander off to Elbereth knows where, and falling asleep holding flammable objects. To cap it all off, his soldiers had gotten more sleep then he had. Glorfindel took that last offense personally.

The warriors in charge of guarding Imladris had a rather difficult morning.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, I'm glad you guys like the fic. This could be the last chapter, or it could just be one of many. I'm not really sure. I hope you guys liked it anyway.


	4. Swimming lessons

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns The Lord of the Rings I do not. Questions?

A/N This chapter is dedicated to Luna-stella. The naked Glorfindel was especially for her. However, anyone else is welcome to enjoy him as well.

"Glorfindel, are you sure that this is a good idea?"

"Of course it is."

"That means of course, that it is a rather foolish one."

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Because all of your _good_ ideas seem to have this amazing ability to backfire."

"I resent that."

"It is true."

"Nay mellon nin, if it was true, then all of our warriors would be dead by now."

"What if I said that you are a very capable general and a not so capable elf in other areas when good ideas are needed?"

"I resent that as well."

"Even if it is true?"

"But it is not."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not"

"Yes."

"No"

"Ye- What is it Elladan?"

"Er'story, can we go now?" The elfling asked, tugging at Erestor's tunic. His brother looked on with pleading eyes, and Erestor sighed.

"Yes Er'story, let's go." Glorfindel agreed

"Erestor sent him a glare that Glorfindel returned with a smile. "I really don't think this is the best idea..." The other three paid no heed, and continued walking down the path to the river.

"Come, advisor! What could really go wrong?" Glorfindel called to him, merrily swinging a towel around his shoulders as he dodged Elrohir, who seemed bent on tackling him.

_ What could go wrong?_ Glorfindel was certainly the most optimistic elf he had ever met, that was for sure. _We're taking the most troublesome pair of elflings on arda into the river and he wonders what can go wrong? Ai Elbereth... I don't even want to think about what could happen._ Muttering to himself -- he seemed to be doing that a lot lately, it was a habit that had grown worse with time -- he walked a little faster in order to catch up with the twins and Glorfindel.

It was a fairly beautiful day, the birds were singing and the sun was beating down upon Imladris. This was why Glorfindel had decided that teaching Elladan and Elrohir to swim had been a good idea. Erestor had not agreed.

It didn't really make much of a difference.

"Erestor, I think that the twins should have a different sort of lesson today." Glorfindel had told him that morning.

Erestor barely glanced up from his paperwork. This proved his undoing. "Really?"

"Yes, something that won't fill their heads with dusty facts. It's a beautiful day. Let's take them outside."

Erestor was, at that time, immersed in a fascinating piece of literature that told of the financial history of Eregion. He didn't look up at all that time, and mumbled something about asking Elrond.

So Glorfindel went to ask Elrond. He was also engaged in reading, although it wasn't as..._interesting_ as what Erestor was studying. He seemed far less worried about abandoning it, and asked Glorfindel what he had in mind. Glorfindel told him.

In Lothlorien, a scout named Orophin cocked his head in puzzlement as he heard the faint echoings of the words 'are you insane?' Coming from the generally northern direction. He wondered about it for a moment before shaking his head and turning back to his patrol.

Back in Imladris, Glorfindel was trying to convince Lord Elrond that teaching his sons to swim was not that stupid of an idea. "My lord, they must learn eventually!"

"They're toddlers, Glorfindel. Surely it can wait a few years!"

"But it's an absolutely perfect day!"

"Then take them to the gardens and teach them something there!"

"Like sword fighting?"

"NO!"

"Then how about archery?"

"Not that either! I still get nightmares about when Legolas was learning to fire an arrow, and he shot me in the rear when I was visiting Mirkwood."

"Knives?"

"Glorfindel! Not only are they young elflings, they are both very active ones. I fear for the sanity of the one who tries to teach them both to learn warcraft."

"What if someone else was there too?"

"And who would you convince to go?"

"Erestor?"

"Erestor is not a warrior."

"He knows how to swim."

"Are we back to that subject again?"

"Why, I do believe we are, mellon nin."

"Do not take that tone with me, Glorfindel."

"Apologies, my lord Elrond, but I really think you are worrying too much."

Elrond sighed, and looked toward the window. The Bruinen was barely visible, and looked no calmer than usual. He glanced at his longtime friend. "I still do not see how this cannot end in disaster."

Glorfindel smiled, he could see Elrond was beginning to weaken. "You have little faith, Elrond. The twins will be safe, and we will have a grand time teaching them."

"I presume 'we' is similar to 'Erestor and I'. Am I correct?"

"Of course, mellon nin. Do I have your permission to withdraw them from their lessons, and teach them to swim?"

"As long as there are the same amount of teachers as elflings, I suppose that teaching them to swim when they are young is perhaps a good idea. Tell my sons of your plans, and then tell Erestor."

"What a clever idea to tell Erestor last, then he will not be able to object."

"It was meant to be so, but please be careful and try not to let harm come to my sons."

"Of course, mellon nin." Glorfindel left the study, and went to inform the twins and then... Erestor.

A knock on the door of his study alerted him to Glorfindel's approach. He closed his book with regret. The chapter he had been reading (labeled: Why sailing west is bad for the elvish economy on middle earth) had been full of all sorts of information. He was loath to put it down. "Come in."

Glorfindel entered, dressed in the shortest pair of leggings Erestor had ever seen, and carrying a towel. He was trailing two very excited identical elflings who were also dragging towels. He stopped at Erestor's desk. "Mellon nin, are you ready?"

"For what?" Erestor asked, dreading the answer.

"Why, for the swimming lessons of course!"

"Swimming.... lessons?"

"Yes, we are going to teach Elladan and Elrohir how to swim today!"

"I.... Wait, _what?_"

"Swimming lessons, are needed for elflings and warriors, to make sure of safety if escape by water is necessary."

"I know that Glorfindel!" Erestor snapped, "but it would have been useful if you had informed me of your... _plans_ earlier in the day!" _so I could reject them,_ he thought, but he wasn't going to say _that_ with the twins around.

"Let's go!" Elrohir urged his reluctant tutor.

Erestor glared at Glorfindel, swearing to get him later for putting him in this situation and said, "Of course, Little one. Let me go to my rooms and change."

Thus were Erestor's plans for the day completely ruined.

Erestor's thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of squealing elflings and two splashes. Fearing that someone had already managed to drown themselves, he picked up his pace and soon approached the river.

Eyeing the scene before him, Erestor shook his head. How Glorfindel was considered a competent baby-sitter, he would never understand. Sighing, he stripped himself of shirt, and laid it upon the grass. Then he waded into the water and attempted to pry Elladan off of Glorfindel.

"No, Er'story!"

"Elladan, you are choking him. Just lay back like Elrohir is doing, you will not sink. I will hold you up, as Glorfindel is doing to your brother.

Five minutes later, a gasping Glorfindel was free of Elladan's clutches and said elfling was floating in the water.

The lessons continued, while a young minstrel named Lindir wandered by. He had been attracted by the curious sounds coming from the river. As he drew closer, he heard strange snatches of conversation.

"No splashing, Elladan!"

"Erestor, to your left!"

"The mud needs to stay on the riverbank! You have need not use it as an exfoliate!"

"You're... _ack_, choking me!"

"Er'story... Ride?"

"Elrohir, I cannot swim you across the river five times in a row without rest, ask Glorfindel to do it."

"What did I say about the mud, Elladan?"

"Throwing rocks is a bad idea!"

"Glorfindel! Duck!"

As well as other similar phrases. He was just about to pass the trees and get a full view of the river, when two wet and muddy elflings ran past him. Lindir looked after them in shock, as two dripping, dirty and seemingly insane elves that he immediately recognized as Lord Elrond's most trusted advisors chased after the pair. They were shrieking for the elflings to stop and threatening baths and lack of dessert.

Not that it did any good, of course.

As Lindir was busy trying to understand what had occurred, Elladan and Elrohir ran up the path, and into The Last Homely House. Their muddy footprints left a clear trail for Glorfindel and Erestor to follow, and as they ran, Glorfindel spoke. "Elrond is going to kill us!"

"No," Erestor gasped. "I am going to have _that_ honor, this is all your fault."

"How is it all my fault?"

"_You _were the one who suggested building mud and sand castles, as well as the one who thought up the whole plan for swimming lessons!"

"That does not matter!"

They were so preoccupied with their bickering, that they didn't even notice when the footprints stopped. They stepped through the doorway, without noticing to whom it belonged, and immediately spied the troublesome pair.

Then, they noticed Lord Elrond.

"Explain," he said, in a tone that booked no arguments. "Why my sons are running around Imladris in naught but their skin, and why my study is covered in mud from the river."

Glorfindel was suddenly very aware of his own lack of clothing, and merely bowed his head.

Erestor glanced at him in exasperation before speaking. "We were building castles in the mud, my lord and thought to spare their clothing from being ruined."

Elrond frowned, "I see."

"Then they escaped, and we chased after them. We didn't have time to grab the clothing and we were worried for their safety and...."

"Glorfindel, stop babbling." Elrond said firmly. "And-"

There was a knock at the door, and an elleth entered. She looked at the two elf lords in shock, and almost dropped the books she was carrying. Hastily, she placed them on Elrond's desk, and practically ran out of the room.

"-And for Elbereth's sake, cover yourself." He finished.

"Of course, Elrond." Erestor said smoothly

"There are some spare robes in the adjoining room. They are mine, and are to be returned once they have been washed and free of the mud you currently wear."

"Thank you, Elrond."

As they turned to leave, Elrond said suddenly. "And be back soon, for you two will be bathing the twins as well."

They gaped at him, and he smiled. "Have a wonderful bath."

Once outside the study and clothed in robes, Erestor leaned over to Glorfindel, and whispered, "This is all your fault."

"I still fail to see your point."

"I told you that your ideas always backfire!"

"And how did this backfire?"

"_How did this backfire?_" And the lecture began

_ Some things_, Glorfindel thought despairingly, _never change_.

A/N: Wow, that was long! As I said in my bio, this fic will be updated randomly whenever the muses bite me. Hoped you reviewers all enjoyed this chapter! And thanks to you guys for reviewing!


	5. Bathing issues

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns The Lord of the Rings. I cannot claim it.

**Bathing Issues.**

**In the depths of Lothlorien . . . .**

"Lady Celebrian, I am sure you are very glad to be going home soon." Haldir said, smiling at the one whom he considered a sister.

"Hmmm . . . . Well actually, I was thinking of making my stay a little longer, seeing as this is the first time I've been in Lothlorien in fifty years," Celebrian replied, looking around at the mallorn trees that surrounded them.

"While I'm sure you still have much to catch up on, my lady, don't you miss your family?" The marchwarden questioned hesitantly.

Her smile was a little sad, but a little relieved at the same time. "I miss Elrond and the twins very much, but I am sure they will get along fine a few more weeks. I'm feeling like this is the only vacation I will have from them for some time. My children can be adorable, but they are such a handful!"

Haldir smiled understandingly -- he had had the same experience when his brothers had been born. "This is final, then."

"Aye, my friend. I sent the letter not too long ago, and it should be arriving in Imladris shortly." She laughed and the two continued on their walk in companionable silence.

-----------

Imladris, was anything _but_ silent.

"_Er'story_!" Elladan whined.

"Elladan, how many times must I ask you to cease calling me that?" Erestor asked tiredly, fishing around for something resembling shampoo.

"At least two thousand more times, I am betting," said Glorfindel, setting Elrohir in the empty bath and going off to get the hot water before the advisor had a chance to respond.

"Don't wanna take a bath!" Elrohir said, standing up, and stamping his foot on the tiles.

"Elrohir, proper grammar- Don't do that, you'll slip! Elladan, where exactly do you think you're going?"

The elfling didn't respond, so Erestor simply grabbed him around the middle and gently swung him into the bath to join his sibling.

"Mae govannen, muindor nin." Elrohir said, with a hint of irony startling in one of such tender years.

Glorfindel had returned in time to hear Elrohir's comment, and two golden eyebrows arched elegantly upward. He turned to Erestor. "I blame you for using your sarcasm way too much."

"The child is a wise and excellent observer," Erestor replied absently. He leaned down to test the temperature of the water they were going to bathe the twins with. "Ai!" he withdrew it with a gasp. "That water is scalding, Glorfindel! Add some cold!"

"How can it be scalding when elves aren't bothered by the hot or cold?"

"Glorfindel! Obviously you haven't tested the water! It's boiling, and too hot for a pair of young Peredhel to bathe in!"

"Erestor, do you really think me irresponsible enough not to test the water?"

"Yes!"

Glorfindel sighed. "Now I may not be the best elfling watcher around, but even I know that you should always-"

"Glorfindel, no need to remind me about your incompetence when watching elflings. If it weren't for you and your swimming lessons, we wouldn't be here in the first place."

"Erestor, please. You've already lectured me on that, let's move on to new and different material."

"Glorfindel, I'll have you know that that particular lecture came out very well for improvisation. I intend to keep it for later use."

"Valar save us," Glorfindel muttered, and then became very interested in searching for the soap used for hair washing.

"I've got it," Erestor said, holding up a glass bottle.

"That's the wrong one. Let's use this one," Glorfindel held up a different, more fragile looking bottle. Erestor had visions of smashed glass lurking at the bottom of the rather large bathtub.

"Isn't that Celebrian's?"

Glorfindel looked at it, and his eyes widened. "Maybe yours would be a better choice, after all," he suggested meekly.

Erestor grinned, and Glorfindel blinked. 'Grinning' was not a phrase commonly used to describe Erestor's facial expressions.

"Somehow I knew you'd see it my way," he said smugly.

Glorfindel decided not to answer that, and turned around.

There was a pause.

"Erestor . . . ."

"Yes?" the dark haired elf asked, still looking into the bottle.

"Where are they?"

Erestor sighed, "look _in_ the bathtub, Glorfindel. They are quite easy to spot."

Glorfindel peered into the tub, and after a moment withdrew his head. "Are you sure?"

"Where _else_ would they be?" Erestor asked, with more than a hint of irritation coming into his voice.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you," Glorfindel replied, trying not to roll his eyes.

"Oh for the love of . . . ." Erestor abandoned the bottle of shampoo, and walked over to Glorfindel, who was scratching his head in puzzlement. A few moments later, some loud shouting could be heard, along with some creative swearing.

--------------

"My Lord Elrond, surely that is not your final say in this matter?"

"But I'm afraid it is. I will not give the dwarves mining rights in Imladris. It just doesn't work. So I suggest that-" Elrond paused. "What was that?"

The dwarven ambassador got to his feet. "Sounds like . . . shouting."

"Aye, but who is shouting?"

"Shouldn't you know that?" the ambassador asked him.

Elrond ignored him, and cocked his head, listening. "Sounds like . . . . Erestor."

"Erestor? Your advisor?"

Elrond looked deep in thought. "Yes . . . . If you will excuse me for a moment, I need to go check on something." With that, he rose to a majestic height, and swept out of the room.

---------------

"Erestor, I wasn't even aware that you knew such language."

"Glorfindel," Erestor replied curtly. "Despite being younger than you by a few hundred years, I _was_ at the last alliance. If one doesn't pick up certain language when in the company of thousands of soldiers, one will never pick it up at all."

Glorfindel frowned. "So why haven't I ever heard you swear before?"

"Because, unlike you, I watch my tongue when elflings are about."

"Now Erestor, there's no need to continually insult me."

Erestor didn't answer, and looked to be concentrating.

"I said that-"

"Glorfindel, you're getting off subject."

"Fine," he huffed. "We'll continue this discussion another time."

"We must concentrate on finding Elladan and Elrohir," Erestor said, still ignoring him.

"Hmmm . . . . If I were an elfling, where would I hide?" Glorfindel thought aloud.

Erestor looked at him. "They're too young to visit the brothels, and I'm pretty sure we have none in Imladris besides. Let's concentrate on normal elflings, not Glorfindel elflings," there was a pause. "If I were an elfling, where would I go?"

"I doubt that they would find the library of much interest." Glorfindel replied scathingly.

Erestor glared at him, and Glorfindel glowered back.

The confrontation would have quickly turned ugly, had not Elrond opened the door at that moment.

"Advisor, Seneschal," he said cautiously. "What is going on? Why is there shouting?"

The two whipped around with guilty expressions.

"Er . . . ."

"Well . . . ."

Elrond lifted his eyebrow, and gave them an intimidating look.

"Well what?"

"Your sons kind of . . . ."

". . . . Escaped," finished Glorfindel. "Again."

Elrond looked at them, and covered his eyes with his hands. "Of course they did," he murmured. "Why should this have been easy, after all?"

"My lord?" Erestor asked hesitantly.

"Yes, Erestor?"

"If you were an elfling, where would you go?"

--------------

Elrond slowly walked back to his study, feet dragging in a most un-elflike way. Behind him, he could hear the sounds of Glorfindel yelling.

"Elladan! Get out from under the suite of armor, and _please_ put the spear down!"

Erestor was also adding to the chorus.

"Elrohir, you have until the count of three and then you must be in the bath."

No answer, but a lot of crashing.

"One . . . Two . . ." Glorfindel chanted slowly

There was a distant splash, followed by an "Ai! The water is too hot, Er'story!"

This in turn, was followed by the inevitable "Glorfindel! I told you that . . . ."

Elrond shook his head, and started to walk a little faster.

----------------

Back in Lord Elrond's study, the dwarven ambassador looked up, as the door swung inward, admitting said lord back inside.

"What was that all about?" The dwarf questioned.

Elrond looked at him. "You don't want to know," he said firmly. Sighing, he added "perhaps it is best if we continue our discussion at another time."

The ambassador nodded, and silently stood. At the door, he paused. "By the way, a letter came for you, while you were gone," then he left.

Elrond glanced at the envelope lying upon his desk. It was from Lothlorien, and in his wife's handwriting. Thank the Valar she would be home soon. He opened the letter, and began to read.

_Dear Elrond,_

_I hope this letter finds you in good health. As for myself, I find that the trip to see my family and friends has done me a world of good. I miss you and the twins very much, and cannot wait to see you again._

Elrond smiled.

_I hope that the twins have been behaving well, and keeping up with their studies._

The Lord of Imladris decided that maybe Celebrian didn't need to know all that had occurred since she had left.

_I am sure that all is well in peaceful Imladris. Please give my love to all who dwell there._

_On a further note, I have decided to stay in Lothlorien for a few more weeks than I had planned. it is already arranged, and I am sure that you won't mind. After all, it is only a few weeks, and I find that I have much to catch up on._

_Namarie, My beloved husband._

_Love, Celebrian_

Elrond paused, his smile fading. No, he couldn't have just read that. He reread it.

_On a further note, I have decided to stay in Lothlorien for a few more weeks than I had planned. It is already arranged, and I am sure that you won't mind. After all, it is only a few weeks, and I find that I have much to catch up on._

No, it hadn't changed.

Elrond began to bang his head upon the desk.

ELVISH TRANSLATIONS:

Mae govannen, muindor nin Well met, my brother

A/N Sorry for the long delay! I'll try to do better next time, but school is starting soon, so I may not be able to. And thanks to all who have reviewed! I'm glad you've liked it so far.


End file.
